The Boyfriend is Japan’s first gay dating reality show. It involves nine young gay men living together for a month with the object of finding love. I don’t usually watch reality TV or foreign language television, but this was so good.

Ten years ago, I would not have been able to watch something like this without going into a severe depressive episode. Having been in a relationship for over seven years made this a feel-good experience for me.

American TV is full of trashy drama that makes it almost unwatchable. This show, however, was more like a human growth documentary. These young men arrived from various backgrounds. Broken relationships, trauma, and uncertainty about the future. One of the contestants was even abandoned as a baby and had no family when growing up. One is a chef, one is a stylist and make-up artist, one is a go-go boy, another is a model. They’re all good-looking and you’d think they’d have the confidence they need, but that was not the case.

There were many heartwarming moments as well as tension and cringe as one would expect. I don’t know what the creators of the show were expecting, but the result was amazing. There weren’t any competitions or prizes and nobody was “voted off the island”. Instead, these young men learned from one another and grew. They figured out what they want and how to interact with other gay men to form a relationship. In the end, there were no enemies, but life-long friendships.

Personally, this show forced me to reflect on some painful memories from my past. I spent time with those memories and I think I was able to move forward in accepting them so I can move on. It gave me a lot to think on to improve my personal relationships, that’s for sure.